To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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