Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
