i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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