I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
