can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
