First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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