You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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