Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
