the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
