she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
