And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
