I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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