She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
