I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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