yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
should my penis look like a turkey
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
