Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
