Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
