it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
