All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
