guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
