even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
