I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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