My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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