they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
