We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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