I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
