There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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