You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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