end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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