...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
