My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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