i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
