You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
