Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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