he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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