I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you win again, gameday.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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