The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
