the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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