one two three fourrrrnication!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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