You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
