I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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