if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
