Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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