Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
