and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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