if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
