I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
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