Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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