I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
