It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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