The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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